Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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