i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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