he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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