This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
