A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
