I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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