Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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