This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
