i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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