he thought i was a dude.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
