he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
