All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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