dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
