Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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