i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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