I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
