so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
