I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
