This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize