Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
