the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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