I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
