She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
