I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
