Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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