tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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