I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
