she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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