Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this boner is exhausting
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
