Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
