you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
