So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
