I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
