I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
