Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
