We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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