Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
