Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
