You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
