I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
