if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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