you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
