Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
