its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
