my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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