? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
