meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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