8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
