Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
