You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
