You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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