May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
