well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
