hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
