I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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