i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
