Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
