i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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