Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
PANTIES FOUND
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
