Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize