I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
