who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think your dad took our porno
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
