So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
