Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
