there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
