last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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