The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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