I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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