She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize